Can you critique my writing?

You are telling your readers what is happening and not showing them. For example: "...at me, like I was Satan. She must have thought that I was trying to recruit her to my diabolical inferno" is just telling the readers what Eliza thinks, not allowing the readers to draw conclusions about Eliza themselves. So, here is one piece of advice: take your time. SHOW the reader what is happening. Isn't "A door creaked open" better than "Mrs. Spitz opened the door"?